I woke up this morning with one goal and one goal only: to buy bread.

By 9:20am, I had fought a guinea pig, gave a speech at a wedding I had no idea who the couples were and I punched a homeless man in the face who insisted I was his long lost cousin Bertha.

The breadseller wasn't even at the shop when I arrived, she left a note saying "Back in 5 minutes or not!"

I screamed.

Then a woman in a purple wig hands me a pineapple saying, " the prophecy is true! You are the chosen one. Don't trust the birds" she whispered the last part like she was on edge. She didn't blink and the pineapple was warm but I ate it anyway.

Now, it's 10:30am and I'm sitting on the roof of a car I do not own, at a school I have never been to before, holding a child's shoe and yelling at a dog who stole my purse.

All because I wanted bread.